The Truth About Home Buying Expectations

Sadness, depression, isolation and loneliness is symbolized in this picture of one frowning face among many smiling faces

Peaking emotions are common in the business of real estate.  After all,  buying a house is most likely the largest financial investment made in a persons’ lifetime. What you want and expect versus what you can afford don’t always line up.

Investors want to get a great deal yet must beat the competition on offers and it’s the numbers that make them sweat, doing the due diligence and analysis. Now add the market and location to those peaking emotions and this is where goals and expectations can collide with reality. Many a home buyer or investor may get angry or upset about a transaction.  After helping people invest in real estate for years it’s apparent that timing and luck sometimes factor in also, no different than in finding a new job or finding love.

I recently sold a house for a downsizing client. That alone is emotional. Saying goodbye to what has been home for several years is a letting go process. First, just the idea of listing and considering moving takes courage and bravery. Then the actions necessary to prepare a home for sale are exhausting. There is de-cluttering, fixing, painting, finishing incomplete projects and all the preparation for making the home look its absolute best. A beautifully prepared house will definitely sell quicker and get a better price. With professional staging this house sold in 7 days. Proof we have a swift moving market here in Minneapolis and staging sells a home quicker. Now, the tough emotional part began, to help the client find a new home in just a few weeks.

Everyone has different expectations when it comes to moving and unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. Most people bitch, moan and become disappointed when the expectation is unfulfilled. When two or more people need to agree on the new home, you can see the trouble mounting. Expectations are in the eye of the beholder. Can you see the problem?

Ways To Tame Your Expectations

Change your thinking  – adopt a new point of view. Let go of what you are expecting and this creates a new space for the unexpected. Something new could be behind the next door, you never know until you look at the other side. Who said a certain location, or over that city line may not be a greater fit for you? (Online photos just aren’t the same as standing in the space.)

Detach from the outcome – by being open to all possibilities. It could mean even split levels or condo’s, something you never knew would work. Not until you detached.  A whole new horizon could develop. How do you know you don’t want something if you’ve never had it or even looked at it? There may be new ways to get your needs met.

Take a risk – go ahead and look out of the box. Start out with your utmost dream house or relationship vision, or imagine the job of your dreams. Then go ahead and look for it. Talk about it, ask questions, see what options appear. There can be great joy reveling in the “in between” if you stop and “smell the coffee”.

Choose – sometimes we are forced to choose between accepting less and compromise. The budget combined with the market dictates what is affordable. You may have to forget about the 3 car garage or the screen porch and settle for the 2 car and no porch or less bedrooms. Usually a farther out location may afford a bigger house with more amenities. The sacrifice is the drive to work. Add to that the compromise factor if you are married or have kids. There has to be some agreement and joint choices in what works as the family moves forward to the next adventure. Been there through many a fight while people try to grope with reality, this is where my unique experience as a master coach is useful as a mediator with my clients.The never fail approach is to sleep on it and have good communication to get through the compromise.

Attitude – it’s your responsibility to know what you want, what will work for you and then to communicate that. Expectations can totally stop progress, when it is not going your way some people give up. It’s better to surrender and release expectations and go ahead and explore. Let go and you may even get excited about the exploration.

Surprise – Even when we imagine the very best we are often surprised by the result – it may be better or worse. Let it go, try to see the delight in the unknowing, prepare to be surprised instead. Now something brand new and unexpected has room to blossom.

Think about all the areas of your life that expectations arise. For me, just in the last week I found I had expectations around my career, my health, romance and what I expected of my son. You see, expectations come from the past and they can only be born from what we know. When you can drop the expectation, then it removes the limitations. That new place allows the magic to happen and the unexpected can show up.

After 22 houses and dragging the client to see what she could not imagine, we finally landed in the perfect condo. She is happily planning for her move in just a few weeks. Dropping the expectations led to a whole new home, beyond her wildest dreams.

What would be available for you if you dropped the expectations? Why not try this for yourself?

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