Stuff happens, like divorce, the Big D. The likelihood of being involved in a divorce at some time in your life is over fifty percent, if it isn’t you directly, then it is someone who is close to you, a family member or friend. Usually one person is the instigator and may be planning an escape for quite some time. They are ready, anticipating and crafting the details around the split. The other person may be embedded in denial and is often times surprised. You’ll hear, “It was out of the blue.”
Change, NOW, is flashing on the divorcing couples’ forehead. The entire household, children and all familiy members are drawn in to the drastic changes that happen related to divorce. People move, money is tight, tempers flare, kids change schools and live part time at two homes, there is grieving and depression, everything is disrupted.
I remember, not wanting to walk in the neighborhood, part of my normal daily routine, in fear that I would run into a neighbor and they would see the flashing sign on my forehead. I was at a lack of words of how to describe what had happened to happily ever after. For almost a month, I avoided outside contact while I was grasping the multitude of decisions and changes occurring.
While enrolling my son in a new school, I discovered that a neighbor a few blocks away was the Director of Education and would make the decision on whether he was able to attend. I decided to deliver the packet to her home to expedite the process. What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotion that hit when asked about my family situation. I broke down in tears, explaining the horror of divorce, in far too much detail. Exageration and drama are a common characteristic of divorce and all the changes, the shock and abruptness is indeed a long story of dramatic events. So many of life’s basic fundamentels have been shifted all at once. After this outburst, I was embarrassed. This woman was very compassionate and gave me the pat on the back I needed to remember that I had strength and would get through this temporary situation with power and courage.
It was when I left her house that I realized telling my story to a stranger was the moment I embraced the reality of divorce. I am a single woman with two children, confident in my skills to figure out the details and navigate the divorce process with courage. I have the power to make wise decisions for myself and my children and could craft a new start beginning at that moment, so can you right now!
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